From Fortune:

Summary 1:
Psychotherapist Christina Eller believes a great marriage is built on solid friendship and high regard, fondness, and admiration for one another. Finding out what qualities bring long-term success in marriage is essential for nurturing our own relationships.

Summary 2:
Research reveals five traits in successful marriages, as shared by Eller. These include partner knowledge, “turning toward” one another, buying into “bids” for attention, conflict resolution, and self-knowledge and self-soothing.

Summary 3:
Successful marriages genuinely know each other, interact with empathy, and validate each other’s emotions. Couples that physically “turned toward” one another were more likely to stay married, and those that recognize and respond to their partner’s attempts to capture their attention have lasting partnerships.

Summary 4:
Couples in long-term marriages engage in curiosity with their partners, and offer specific answers and responsiveness to their partner’s requests. Additionally, they prioritize repairing the relationship after conflicts and finding a sense of shared meaning together.

Summary 5:
Understanding self-knowledge and self-soothing is also essential for long-term coupling. Strong partnerships prioritize self-care and self-understanding, as well as the acceptance of the inevitable conflicts that come with marriage as part of constant collaboration.



Read more: 5 traits of the longest, happiest marriages