bearish comments on snow

From 2019-2023 I ran a data analytics consulting firm, Upright A

nalytics.

My firm is named “Upright” Analytics because I always want to do the right thing and be upright in a sea of IT con artists selling weird compute toys.

My firm’s name is the direct result of the behaviors of several of the biggest con artists in the industry:

-Tristan Handy, of dbt Labs. (@jthandy)
-Benn Stancil, Mode, now ThoughtSpot (@bennstancil)
-George Fraser, Fivetran (@frasergeorgew)

I still run the entity, though I’ve moved away from delivering data/analytics solutions for customers and now I just basically advice hedge funds and other companies on what’s going on in the cloud.

The hedge funds all want to know what’s happening with Snowflake $SNOW and where the revenue is actually coming from because clearly Snowflake is struggling with enterprise sales, and I show them it’s coming disproportionately from these three idiots running recruiting pyramid schemes.

-dbt is a mess. They promote making messes on purpose.
-Fivetran promotes making messes and pumping cloud warehouse compute.
-Benn Stancil runs a whole scam of grooming 24 year-olds and mentally ill people to believe everything he says and then they run up their cloud bills based on his advice and then get fired after creating tons of incremental revenue to Snowflake.

It’s gone on for the last four years.

The whole thing is hilarious.

No customers believe these three people at this point. Nobody with real P&L responsibilities trusts them at this point and they can see through it.

So where does that leave things?

Well, now these idiots in the last week or so are writing up long, waxing blog posts about the death of the Modern Data Stack (their pyramid scheme of recruiting 24 year-olds to sell this crap to more 24 year-olds, all backed up by free Adderall, to pump $SNOW consumption).

It’s better to stay away from all this and simply get work done. These con artists groom and try to manipulate your junior employees to play their games. They target your junior employees in “community” and “industry” Slack and Discord channels.

They are dead in the water going forward. Their business model doesn’t work.

If these idiots are reaching out directly to your 24 year-old employees and trying to groom them into taking the bait on downloading their newest scams, feel free to reach out and I’m happy to send you the exact lawyers who handle this crap.